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Itdidn't even seem to faze him. I was thrilled - I hadn't counted on himbeing that oblivious. It would make my life so much easier.I relied on little tricks to keep up appearances; I loaded him up withcoffee before his parents were to arrive. As I had hoped, taking his sexdrive out of the picture changed little enough of him that nobody noticedthe difference. His own parents left oblivious to anything out of theordinary. It was a liberating feeling; I knew then that I had all thetime and resources I needed.It was the next morning, of course, that I noticed his nipples. I hadseen him shirtless before, and he was a perfectly ordinary guy - poorly-defined pecs, flat, dime-sized nipples. Today they bulged out grossly, asif they had been inflated - two fat crests poking out of the loose fabricof his shirt, like the mosquito-bites of a girl on the cusp of puberty.I took the day off and dug around online, terrified that I had missedsomething - and it turned out I had. My research had been. I smiled at that ? having now seen life from bothsides, albeit only briefly, I certainly had to agree that the woman'sworld was certainly more colorful and interesting. However, all it tookwas a brief attack of morning sickness to make me wonder what the hell Iwas thinking that first, fateful Saturday night.I thought more about Scott and thought about how oddly selfish he wasabout all this. After all, I was beginning to feel an attachment to thebaby ? it was small but it was there ? and it saddened me to think thatI would only get to know this child as an uncle. As close as the fourof us are, I'd be on the outside looking in, and wouldn't have therelationship with the child that a mother deserves. I spoke with somewomen in my office with children, and they explained the bond that woulddevelop over the next several months as the baby develops in my womb. Iactually started to dread the idea of actually giving birth to the baby,fearing the loss that I would feel once we actually.
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